Today I broke character and went and auditioned for America’s Got Talent. So unexpected, right? (It was my mom’s idea.) I’m glad nobody asked me on camera “What’s your dream?” I would’ve had to say “My dream is to live in a world where people don’t watch so much TV and spend more time making music and food and dancing together.”

I played “The Banshee,” by Emile Grimshaw, a classic banjo piece from around 100 years ago. At least I played the first 90 seconds of it. That’s all the time you’re allowed for the audition. Six hours of waiting for your number to be called and then 90 seconds of audition and that’s it. There are no judges there to give you feedback, just a couple of production assistants to administer the event and get it on tape. If I make the next round (which I hope I don’t!) they’ll contact me next month.

I’m 99.9% sure that what I have to offer is not what they’re looking for but I suppose there’s a small chance they’ll want to get me on their show for the freak factor — Weird looking guy with beard playing weird old banjo music. If by some strange turn of events I do end up on the show at least I’d get this old classic banjo music in front of a wider audience.

Some of the things I saw in the holding room: LOTS of singers, mostly singers, I’d guess I saw 85-90% singers. I saw a guy with a silver mask who sang the Star-Spangled Banner with a lot of passion (he said it was his seventh time auditioning for AGT). I saw a troupe of very young girls with rainbow-colored hair doing a dance routine, as well as other troupes of young people in other matching outfits. I saw a very talented trio of violin, bass, and cymbalom playing their own take on the famous Brahms Hungarian Dance. I saw a guy dressed as Santa Claus. There were so many kids there to sing.

I had to wonder if my parents would have taken a day off of work and let me skip a day of school to take me to one of these auditions. Everyone was in good spirits, and the families were all so supportive. Seeing the families like that may have been my favorite part of the day. Everyone was super friendly and outgoing and encouraging to each other, which was sweet, in that I-know-I’ll-never-see-you-again kind of way.

Some people came from far away. I met a couple who came from Niagara Falls, Ontario, to do 90 seconds of standup comedy each. I saw a comedian who came from Nebraska. I also met some people who drove three or more hours from other parts of Michigan. Anyone I met who said they lived in the Detroit area got a square dance flyer from me.

My takeaway from the whole thing was mixed. I felt good for pushing myself to do something different. And it was somewhat entertaining, albeit in a sort of desperate, sad, kind of way, to see everyone nervously pacing and running their bits in the holding room. And I felt like a Grinch for thinking we may be better off without these programs, if only we could actually connect with the people in our own cities and towns, get off the couch and make some friends. On the other hand, the happiness people brought to the experience was undeniable. I mainly went just to be able to say that I’d done it, and to see what it would be like, and now I get to tell you that I’ve done it and I saw what I saw.

And in case you don’t believe me, here’s a video from the “Holding Pen” before I went in for my audition.